It’s about time for a new post, huh? Thanks to my new online friend, who shall remain anonymous, for motivating me to post again. 
I think my lack of motivation to post is reflected in the fact that I have been severely lacking motivation to move forward in my treatment. I guess I feel this way because technically, I haven’t been moving forward at all. Through no fault of my own, I might add. The damn VVS combined with a severe penetration phobia that’s got a crazy hold on me is making it extremely difficult for me to move forward at all.
Going off on a tangent here…
If I hear one more time “my husband and I have never been able to have sex”, I think I’m going to scream. Does this… affliction, for lack of a better word… not affect anyone else but married women?! Am I the only vaginismus sufferer who’s single, and completely unattached? Can websites like vaginismus.com please acknowledge that there are sufferers who don’t have a partner? I feel like many of the things I’ve read on this issue mention how crucial partner involvement is in order to successfully cure this condition. Gee thanks, so because I don’t have a partner to help me along in this, I’ll never be cured. It seems that even in my small community of sufferers who feel so isolated from the rest of normal society, I feel even more isolated for being utterly alone in this. And yes, I know that there are single women who suffer from vaginismus too, but honestly, I feel like it’s a tiny, tiny percentage. I just find it kind of bizarre that there are so many women who aren’t able to have sex who have gotten married. I hope no one takes this the wrong way; I realize that there are people who choose to wait until marriage and all that, it’s just not very common in the society I belong to. I also realize that sex isn’t the most important, nor is it the only part of a relationship, but from my experience, sex is normally introduced very early on in the dating world. Most women my age, including all of my friends, are having sex within a couple of months, if not weeks, of dating someone new. I’ve never come across a dating situation where a guy wasn’t trying to get in my pants within the first few weeks of dating. I just can’t imagine having to tell a guy that I can’t do it just yet, and having him stick around. With all this in mind, I just find it kind of odd that it seems that so many of my fellow sufferers are in unconsummated marriages, when I don’t know of a single guy who would marry a girl he’s never had sex with.
Just today, I was having dinner with one of my close friends who’s familiar with my problem. We were talking about my dating life (or lack thereof) and she suggested that she set me up with one of her boyfriend’s friends. As I was starting to think, Yeah, why not? she said, “Ehh, he probably wouldn’t be OK with your situation though.” Right. Because he’s a normal 20-something year old guy with a healthy sex drive, so why would he want to date some girl he can’t put his penis in? She did add that “he’s kind of a jerk” but what 20-something year old isn’t? Regardless, a nice guy is still going to want to have sex.
But whatever. Enough with my negativity. I have griped on and on about this being-single-and-broken crap, and that wasn’t the point of my post. I forget what the original intent of this post was, but I’ll have to leave that for another time because right now I am tired and my sinus headache is returning.
